Whispers from the attic

Written by Edwin Baru

Baru: Dude, did you just fart?

Edwin: What?

Baru: Oh, never mind, it’s this guy seated next to me. What is wrong with men and their aversion to deodorant? Anyway, Is how?

Edwin: What do you mean ‘is how’? (Mockingly)

Baru: You know what I mean. So what’s up?

Edwin: Nothing… (Looking down)

Baru
: Dude,

Edwin: You really should get more vocabulary…

Baru: Dude, seriously?

Edwin: Yes, seriously.

Baru: What is it with you today, you seem…

Edwin: Kind of awesome?

Baru: That’s a constant, but today there is something a little off with your mood.

Edwin: What do you mean off?

Baru: Off like (snapping fingers) a switch… is it her again?

Edwin: Who her?

Baru: (Nudging Edwin) you know who I mean, her HER!

Edwin: (Looking away) I have no idea what you are talking about.

Baru: Oh my God! It is her (laughing uncontrollably)

Edwin: Shut up or I will slap the peanuts out of you!

Baru: (Now doing a jig around Edwin) hahaha, Edwin likes a gi-irl, Edwin likes a gi-irl, na na nan a na!!

Edwin: Shut up!

Baru: (Still dancing around Edwin now singing louder) Edwin likes a gi-irl, Edwin likes a gi-irl, na na nan a na!!

Edwin: come here, there is something on your cheek.

Baru: Where? Get it off, get it off me (leaning in towards Edwin)

Edwin: (Slaps Baru sharply in the face)

Baru: Ouch!! That stings! (Rubbing his face with his palm)

Edwin: Where, see how much better the world is without you laughing and dancing around like a clown!

Baru: You really don’t have to slap me you know…

Edwin: Oh really? Remember that time we saw a lady in stockings that had a run? What did you do?

Baru: (Embarrassed) laugh and dance around…

Edwin: And?

Baru: We got slapped in the face…

Edwin: Yes, and that time we thought that bouncers pants were too tight. Remember that?

Baru: (Even more embarrassed) yes,

Edwin: (Clearly enjoying himself) and…

Baru: We got slapped…okay, you make your point… Christ! Why do you get so argumentative when I bring her up? Why don’t you just ask her out?

Edwin: It’s not that simple!

Baru: It is!

Edwin: Is not!

Baru: Is

Edwin: Is not!

Baru: (Sticking his tongue out) is!

Edwin: I am not having this argument with you…

Baru: Then tell me why it’s sooooo hard!

Edwin: Okay, how do I begin this (gesturing in a confused way)… I think it’s her eyes, the way they look at me… I can’t read her, at least not well enough…no, it’s not them, I think my problem is the…

Baru
: You guy, am hungry…am off to lunch

Edwin: Dude!

Baru: (Shrugging shoulders) what? I’m hungry!

Edwin: Dude, seriously?

Baru
: You really should get more vocabulary… so, are you coming or what?

Read Baru’s work here


12 responses to “Whispers from the attic”

  1. hahahaha!!! Dude!!!!!

    You nailed alter ego..and I enjoyed reading this….

    1. Wanjeri

      🙂 <– and don't you dare judge me Jacque hahaha!!!

  2. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Richard Mureithi, Lila Write, Wanjeri Gakuru, Top Kenyan Blogs, Wanjeri Gakuru and others. Wanjeri Gakuru said: Whispers from the attic http://t.co/ug5Gg76 by @edwinbaru cc @jacquendinda @wanjikumwaurah @soul_fool @woozie_m @chakasichangi @wambuiwairua […]

  3. HAHAHAHA!

    Alter ego is definitely comic relief after the heavy stuff of outside looking in.

    Allow me to do nothing but laugh 😀

    And yes, we are still friends, despite your questionable mental health.

  4. When wanjeri gave us alter ego all I could think of is the stupid voice inside my head that always sounds crazy and has the shortest concentration span i have ever encountered…
    I hope you enjoyed the madness

  5. Ha! Baru…. you have been judged thoroughly… I like this it is straight forward and hilarious..

    Edwin… dude? seriously?

  6. pahaha. . nice one dude. .

  7. 😀 Baru Lovely alter-egoishly read!!
    captivating read 🙂

  8. Tihihihi…I like Baru more…”Baru: You guy, am hungry…am off to lunch.”

    Concentration capacity….zilch.

  9. Look what I just found

    1. Wanjeri

      Hahaha! Perhaps we could organize the 2nd Edition of Writers Sleepover this year?

      1. We should! Marshall the gang.

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