Whispers from the attic

Written by Edwin Baru

Baru: Dude, did you just fart?

Edwin: What?

Baru: Oh, never mind, it’s this guy seated next to me. What is wrong with men and their aversion to deodorant? Anyway, Is how?

Edwin: What do you mean ‘is how’? (Mockingly)

Baru: You know what I mean. So what’s up?

Edwin: Nothing… (Looking down)

: Dude,

Edwin: You really should get more vocabulary…

Baru: Dude, seriously?

Edwin: Yes, seriously.

Baru: What is it with you today, you seem…

Edwin: Kind of awesome?

Baru: That’s a constant, but today there is something a little off with your mood.

Edwin: What do you mean off?

Baru: Off like (snapping fingers) a switch… is it her again?

Edwin: Who her?

Baru: (Nudging Edwin) you know who I mean, her HER!

Edwin: (Looking away) I have no idea what you are talking about.

Baru: Oh my God! It is her (laughing uncontrollably)

Edwin: Shut up or I will slap the peanuts out of you!

Baru: (Now doing a jig around Edwin) hahaha, Edwin likes a gi-irl, Edwin likes a gi-irl, na na nan a na!!

Edwin: Shut up!

Baru: (Still dancing around Edwin now singing louder) Edwin likes a gi-irl, Edwin likes a gi-irl, na na nan a na!!

Edwin: come here, there is something on your cheek.

Baru: Where? Get it off, get it off me (leaning in towards Edwin)

Edwin: (Slaps Baru sharply in the face)

Baru: Ouch!! That stings! (Rubbing his face with his palm)

Edwin: Where, see how much better the world is without you laughing and dancing around like a clown!

Baru: You really don’t have to slap me you know…

Edwin: Oh really? Remember that time we saw a lady in stockings that had a run? What did you do?

Baru: (Embarrassed) laugh and dance around…

Edwin: And?

Baru: We got slapped in the face…

Edwin: Yes, and that time we thought that bouncers pants were too tight. Remember that?

Baru: (Even more embarrassed) yes,

Edwin: (Clearly enjoying himself) and…

Baru: We got slapped…okay, you make your point… Christ! Why do you get so argumentative when I bring her up? Why don’t you just ask her out?

Edwin: It’s not that simple!

Baru: It is!

Edwin: Is not!

Baru: Is

Edwin: Is not!

Baru: (Sticking his tongue out) is!

Edwin: I am not having this argument with you…

Baru: Then tell me why it’s sooooo hard!

Edwin: Okay, how do I begin this (gesturing in a confused way)… I think it’s her eyes, the way they look at me… I can’t read her, at least not well enough…no, it’s not them, I think my problem is the…

: You guy, am hungry…am off to lunch

Edwin: Dude!

Baru: (Shrugging shoulders) what? I’m hungry!

Edwin: Dude, seriously?

: You really should get more vocabulary… so, are you coming or what?

Read Baru’s work here

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